Thread: Houston Do we have a problem

Scarier than Forumites,

The mob in the pimple on the hill in Canberra,
Dingo without a beer in him,
Another interest rate rise,
Paris Hilton in rehab (dont do it Paris, we love you the way you are...)
Beer flavoured Freddos

Challenge for Furumites - a trebochet to fire jelly beans from Canberra to Japan, open ya mouth Stu, here they come!

Sebastiaan

Oh Fletch, where are you?

Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

Fletch me ol chocolate drop this deserves a few gentle taps across the noggin with a soggy freddo frog... so away we go!

Now here I could just plain assume some slight against meownself with your words... but as were both aware to assume is to make an ass out of u and me and that just wont do!!... soooo Im gonna be nice an ask what you mean by that comment ol so on

Dingo...you are right not to assume...I saw Honorary Bloke's comment and thought..yes I suppose that could be taken two ways...I actually meant it as a compliment but now that you have taken to the freddos. I meant that My posts would be worth reading....

Really Dingo....cruelty to Freddo....

As far as playing the "being a mate" tactic, you've seen through my cunning plan....by the way, which beer do you drink so I can ensure I have some in the fridge....and as I burn everything I cook on the bbq, you may have to take over this duty or drink more beer so you don't notice...your choice (as if I don't know which one already).

Fletcher

Dingo

By the way....what sort of boat are you building?

Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

oooooooohhhh shyte here we flamin go ... friggin namby pamby sookylala "Im gonna run to mummy" ...Drivel??? WHAT FLAMIN DRIVEL??? This is a thread that is totally enlightening brilliantly educational staggeringly informative and full of finely tuned entertainment how on earth can anyone consider such a thread as drivel???

flamin pc mongrel wally

Neil an Robbo wont touch this thread cause they KNOW Im right!!! so there!

See told you Dingo's snap when provoked

I felt I had to see what response Drivel!!!! would provoke I guess worked didn't it now its more "totally enlightening brilliantly educational staggeringly informative and full of finely tuned entertainment "

Now if we all leave Dingo alone he might get that boat finished and sail around OZ.......I reckon by the time he got 1/4 of the way he'd change his handle to "The Drunken Sailor" with all the BBQ's n Beer he'd be invited too.

But if he was a real salty I thought he'd preffer a saltys drink RUM.

Ray

Strewth youse blokes!!! You have got to be incredibly brave or amazingly foolish to provoke the Dingo in this way. Have visited Dingo Downs and been wecomed into the Casa del Shane after prostrating myself humbly at his feet multitudinous times I can say that he is a positive mountain of a man, he would make Arnie look like a 20lb weakling and he has a tightly controlled ferocity about him that it is terrible to behold. If it were ever to be unleashed, even just a fraction of it, then the consequences would be too terrble to contemplate! For Gods sake fellows, be afraid! VERY VERY AFRAID!!!!!

Chris me ol cobblerone what have I told yer about drinkin that cats phiss over there? PUT THE DAMNED BUCKET DOWN... see that was one of the things I warned you about Bidgy didnt I warn yer eh didnt I?? Now look at yer! guzzlin that cats phiss by the bloody bucket

But yer right as always yer daft chromed domed galah... I am quite the freindly chap once the appropriate actions are taken by those visiting or wanting to visit the shed.. and as you were so grovellingly good at it to even make the missus approve your welcome remains firmly open!... But dont make the appropriate grovelling actions an noises an heaven help yer!! By gar I can get downright cranky... spittin chips even!

Now on that note yer bloody boofhead what was the name of those damned
chisels you told me to get hold of?... mmm I gots this woodworking show happenin in a few days time and well Im gettin ready to BURN THE CC with a vengence unknown to man or beast before this time... SHE the dopey other halve has FILLED IT!! ooooooooooh yeah!!... actually theres this Lucas mill for sale in Mandurah Im sorta thinking about getting a damned good price it is too...

ANYWAYS stop bloody distractin me yer walkin pile of wombat droppins!! ...I gots freddos an jelly beans to shove in places no self respectin freddo or jelly bean is meant to travel!!

RIGHT!!! Rum... aaahhh the delusional inducing properties of the glorious brew of Neptune... yes... oooh right rum... I enjoy a long drop of the good stuff no wukkers but see again IM bein bloody nice here... Rum by its nature is dear but when drunken to the excesses a true skippa hat wearin capn such as yer own good mate here drinks it would cause such as many of the namby pampy cherry beer drinkin sookylala landlubbers here to give birth to a gaggle of pink pussys... I do like me RUM... but sadly none can hold a candle to stay upright long enough to keep me company when Im in me straps so I as always be nice and suggest BEER which can be as long as its not that cats phiss ol Chris is partial to Southwark or that Tooheys Extra Dry strained dogs crap or Emu Export that emu and roo roadkill juice... is a good drop... NOT as good as RUM but good none the less

Funny thing with RUM and other spirits Ive only ever been able to get RUM past me tongue... doesnt matter what other spirit tries to get down there it comes flyin back up... but RUM RUM just swirls around the gob and trickles nicely down the throat to land swimmingly in the pit of the belly... RUM IS GOOD

Mind you its also known to make sparrows fight emus... which is possibly when Ive been known to fly across a bar from time to time... its also known to induce the drinker of copious amounts into believing that the bigger they are the harder they fall... a fact counter acted by a BEER drinking mate who proved that the smaller that one is the further that one can fly... and hence the many dents in the many hostillery walls and doors around this country that Ive visited

Cruelty to freddo?? STREWTH!!! Bloody hell first its that doyen of Japanese googoo dolls yellin about cruelty to jelly beans and now yer wafflin on about cruelty to bloody freddos??? STRIKE ME ROAN YER FLAMIN WOMBAT!!! I was bein nice here I mean I could have used "cobbers" or those ROCK HARD lollies!! I was bein friggin nice bloody pc police get me every friggin time... Whats wrong with usin freddos? eh? Id only ever use the caramello freddos so they get all squishy an sticky an stuck to the nostral hairs an snot... not a hard one that gets jammed edgewise an has to be drilled out with a jackhammer!! whats wrong with yous mob!!!

BEER? Carlton Cold or Crownies will do this little black duck mate... make sure theyre friggin cold too!! Nothin worse than bein offered a hot beer on a hot day... sigh dont yer hate that?

Okay what else... Oh the boat... now the boats been an issue with me for some years now Ive got a 12 year old son who was born about the time I decided it had to have at least one sail... so its been awhile in the coming eh Chris? But Im hopefull that Ive finally decided... her bloody highness has dictated from somewhere that I can only have 1 more set of plans and no more books and then I had better start building before I get that old I cant phart properly... so Im deciding... I think if I can find a way to get hold of him and the plans quicker than 6 months Id like to go with Phil Bolgers St Valery Luggar design... Im really taken with her... but if that doesnt happen for whatever reason I will probably no definantly go with GlenLs Noyo Trawler design for some serious fishin (hold of 140lb!!! thats some days fishin!!)

heres a couple of pics first is St Valery


and Noyo Trawler


St Valery is purely cruisin but with a huge cabin space its design is seriously DIFFERENT as is usual for Bolger... 24ft LOA with water ballast and almost flat bummed one of the interesting things with her is the massive rudder and centreboard way up front... mmm I certainly am taken with her

Noyo is 24ft as well but more workboat with a huge hold for 140 cubic foot of FISH!!!... I actually would like this one cause between me an Chris and a couple of others we know where there are some EXCELLENT fishing grounds a bit of a drive to some of them but shes towable so no wukkers

So presently aside from Bolger not having internet or any way of contact other than fax or snail mail and as yet its unknown how he likes to be paid for the plans... its really down to choice of pleasure boat or work boat

But shes stated "One and one only then you MUST start building it!! OR you just build one of the others you have somewhere in the shed" Im no longer interested in the others out there!! I want BOTH OF THESE not just one... strewth hows a bloke supposed to decide without them bein in front of him eh? VISUALS WOMAN!!!

Anyways!!... whens Goolwa? Im gonna try for that roadtrip... probably one me patmalone since she will have her macmansion by then so she wont want to travel far thank gawd!!!

oh the barbie... no wukkers mate just step asside an let an heckspert at it!! yous young fellas gots no idea about barbies anyways

A few hints before I make my way over alright?
Dig the hole now!
Gather the fire rocks now!
Gather some banana leaves about a day before I lob oh you can start the fire to burnin them rocks about then too okay
Make sure the steaks are at least an inch thick none of those thin pussy steaks by gawd
Better get some roo in too eh? me an me offsnider young Chris we like roo we do
Oh an mangos!! gotta have mangos at a barbie!!

Did I mention a ute or trailer load of BEER?... well thats for while were cookin better have anothery ready for aftas!

and yeah you can have one too... sigh... but one only!! Cause the BEER is for the cooks if you aint cookin yer aint drinkin the BEER (you gotta buy it though thats your job )

And remember I come armed with caramellow freddos an jelly beans!! I AM NOT PC!!

HEY!! Yer in Queenys land aintcha! BEAUWDY!! Give the leatherette wearin one an her wee boofheaded other half a hoi cause I just gotta meet her... just to show her what shes missin!! Oh better get Cliffy an Midgey a hoi to... ah buggar it give all the banana benders a hoi may as well have a big bash as a bash at all I reckon... but your shout remember!! YOU INVITED ME so you shout!!!

Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

RIGHT!!! Rum... aaahhh the delusional inducing properties of the glorious brew of Neptune... yes... oooh right rum...

BEER? Carlton Cold or Crownies will do this little black duck mate... make sure theyre friggin cold too!! Nothin worse than bein offered a hot beer on a hot day... sigh dont yer hate that?

Dingo,

...RUM or Beer, just let me know when you're getting here and which one you'd prefer....but if we're getting the "gang" together...beer it will be.

Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

Cruelty to freddo?? STREWTH!!! Bloody hell first its that doyen of Japanese googoo dolls yellin about cruelty to jelly beans and now yer wafflin on about cruelty to bloody freddos??? STRIKE ME ROAN YER FLAMIN WOMBAT!!! I was bein nice here I mean I could have used "cobbers" or those ROCK HARD lollies!! I was bein friggin nice bloody pc police get me every friggin time... Whats wrong with usin freddos? eh? Id only ever use the caramello freddos so they get all squishy an sticky an stuck to the nostral hairs an snot... not a hard one that gets jammed edgewise an has to be drilled out with a jackhammer!! whats wrong with yous mob!!!

Now I hadn't realised just how much of a considerate bloke you were. The time spent considering all of the possibilities and consequences...."stuck to the nostral hairs an snot"...so against my better judement, I guess I'll have to let you have the freddos.

Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

Okay what else... Oh the boat... now the boats been an issue with me for some years now .....Phil Bolgers St Valery Luggar design... Im really taken with her...

The St Valley Lugger looks like a fine lady of the sea....but that's my opinion (not being a sailor...just one of those land lubbers you mentioned).

Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

YOU INVITED ME so you shout!!!

Okay, now it is my turn to be insulted....

Fletcher

What & who's been nibbling at you lately... some bloody great white shark trying taken a bite out of you...... LOL... silly barstards.... don't they know to let sleeping dogs lay...... lol ........ Mate... I would have loved to been there when you got fired up on the keyboard....then taken all that energy down to the woodshed. ....... Dingo... I don't give a rats little biddy a r s e about them all..... the wee baby ones.... who act like saints.... cause we know they aint..... but true mate .... when it comes to PERFECTION.....look no further.... Its me..... I was the perfect wife.... mate I never whinged at him.... he was deaf anywany.... never sent him to work... I did that he stayed home & played woodwork... I made his beer & loved him to death...... shiyt....the last bits true....lol...........
Darn, he still makes me laugh....& so do you.... don't let them sink the teeth in there mate....fairly kickém in the a r s e....

Oh, gosh did I say I was a Lady Woodworker.... now no-one will believe me..... not now! .... "oh, go easy on me" .... sounds darn right like to me.... should get them restricted if they use that language....

Going down shed to make some more wooddust..... cheer's mate...KEKEMO

Originally Posted by fletcher

Okay, now it is my turn to be insulted....

Fletcher

Insulted??? INFLAMINSULTED??? How can a fair dinkum ridgey didge boofheaded typical Aussie bloke be insulted by bein told he has to buy the damned BEER?? EH?? You invited ME remember so naturally its YOUR SHOUT yer flamin floppy eared bungarra!... whats to be insulted by that? Propa Aussie etiquite that is I mean IF I invited you it would be beholdin on me to shout you... But mate I didnt... you me young banana chompin numbat invited me!!! so in the name of all BEERS why are you insulted??

Strewth Chris Neil Robbo Cliffy Midgey an other true Aussie blokes what the flamin ell can we do with this galah?

Crikey damned if I can work some buggars out you know... here he wanders in has a go at me several times an me bein me Im nice to him an explain the ways an wherefores of things to him and he... HE!! HE INVITES ME to a barbie and BEER fest... and now he seems to reckon cause he has to do the right the honorable the Aussie thing and shout he reckons Im insultin him ...flamin cant win a sodding trick I cant

mutter mutter grumble first me jelly beans get snuffled by that japanese gaisia girly type an then me flamin freddos get taken out by some upstart... and now the pc wakker who invites me to a barbie an phissup reckons its not his shout?... gawd whats Aussie comin too??

Gidday Kerry me girl Hows things up in Man-dur-ah?

Rarely do I let anyone get me down me dear... I just smile and kick back let the old mushy stuff up top loose... and give em shyte!

But another thing I dont do... I dont hold onto things neither... have me say and move on I do some wally wants to keep hammerin away at me over something I cant remember... I have as most would realize the recall of a lump of 4x4 so when somethings done its done... so gettin all antsy an havin a go at someone is just sooooo much waste cause I can never remember what Im havin a go about!...

So smile an wander on is me modus operandii..

HEY!! Its not you thats got that Lucas mill for sale on ebay is it? they use kerry as there name you know and they live in Man-dur-ah too ...if it is mmmm maybe we can do a deal eh? nudge nudge say no more

okay back to the bar for me!! friggin phissin down with that wet stuff again

Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

Insulted??? INFLAMINSULTED??? How can a fair dinkum ridgey didge boofheaded typical Aussie bloke be insulted by bein told he has to buy the damned BEER?? EH??

Dingo...you are truely amazing...you can take offence at having jelly beans removed from your arsenal, but I can't be insulted at having being told that it is my shout! An Aussie bloke should not have to be reminded of his obligations, especially when it comes to "his shout".
I invited you and offered to have the beer ready for you...do you take me for one of those namby pamby blokes who ducks out of the pub when it is his shout!

Fletcher

Originally Posted by fletcher

Dingo...you are truely amazing...you can take offence at having jelly beans removed from your arsenal

Oh hang on I will read that again.... Arsenal... Oh arsenal... Sorry carry on I misread that