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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
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    Geelong, Australia
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    Yeah - the old electric cabbage isn't quite the sort of plants I had in mind

    Its nice to have some wildlife around. Growing up in NZ I'm not generally a huge possum fan as I've seen the damage the do in the wrong environment, but we have have a couple around our place and its quite nice.
    Can't say I was excited when one died last winter in the ceiling above our stove. Had noticed a smell and just put it down to a baited rodent dying under the house somewhere, but when live rice started falling on the stove it was time for more serious action

    Its a shame your G'son isn't closer. They can be a good distraction from the day-day stuff, and a source of inspiration for small projects that they may enjoy playing with and learning from.

    Getting away camping is great for the soul. For me the further away from civilisation the better, and some of my most relaxed times have been when I've been in the bush or desert somewhere for a couple of weeks or more. You leave all the BS of normal life behind, and the only things you need to think about are have I got enough fuel/water/food - and shall we stay here or move onto somewhere. No other decisions of consequence, and no point worrying about things at home as they will either sort themselves out by the time you get back, or you can deal with it then.
    The fact that your wife also likes to get away is a real bonus. I'm in the same situation, but there are quite a few guys out there that love camping, but their spouse has zero interest or an avid dislike for it. Its a real downer for them, and sometimes the beginning of the end for the relationship.
    Out of interest, what things do you do when you're away to fill in the time? I enjoy a bit of campfire cooking - making bread etc, and losing a few lures if we're near the water, although definitely don't class myself as a fisherman.

    I agree with Michael that its important to try and find something that interests/inspires you, but IME it may need to be a conscious quest when you're feeling OK, not when you're flat. I think Reidy41 is describing a similar but much more structured approach to working out why we bother even getting up in the morning.

    Something I find on occasion helps to put things into perspective is watching a couple of the "motivational" (for lack of a better word) videos on YouTube.
    I've got a background in aviation so these may be of zero interest to you - but here's a couple.

    Brian Shul (SR71 pilot)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFJMs15sVSY

    Passenger who flew and successfully a King Air after the pilot died.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqPvVxxIDr0

    Steve

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Charlestown NSW
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    65
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    Brushtail Possums grow a lot bigger in NZ than here as well, as the trees they eat there are a lot more nutritious for them.
    We were wild life carers for 6 or 7 years. Its a hard life for our wild life especially in suburbia. Feral and pet cats running around outside do an incredible amount of damage to the wildlife.
    When we go away I usually take a bag of SF books, a couple of cartons of Ginger beer and plenty of chocolate. lol.
    My wife takes her drawing stuff and practices her drawing. Even though she denies it, she is very talented, but unfortunately never seems to get the time to practice at home.
    This is one of her "works in progress"

    linda possum.jpg

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    moonbi nsw Aus
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    69
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    364

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    Wow!!!! She has talent
    This evening I am going to put out some over ripe fruit for our band of possys
    Just do it!

    Kind regards Rod

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
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    Geelong, Australia
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    57
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    Wow! Yes, she definitely has talent.
    Me - I failed stick figure class at school (and not JUST because one of them had 5 legs )

    Steve

  5. #20
    BobL is offline Member: Blue and white apron brigade
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    Perth
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    Our 2 grandies are delightful. The lad is 5, autistic, lacks social skills ( not that 5 year old boys have much anyway) curious, mind like a steel trap, and thinks way outside any squares. He always has a drawing/writing implement in hand and has just started to write (copy) kids books. He regularly writes “signs” on the shower screens while taking a shower. The last one was “giraffes- no pissing” ?? He also has a “thing” for anything to do with the solar system and repeatedly draws/labels/regurgitates 101 facts about the bodies therein. The lass is 3 going on about 8. We have to be very careful what we do and say around her as she tells her parents everything in detail about us. We baby sat her yesterday and I took her to see a Xmas fairy garden on the verge around the corner from ours. She was mesmerized and didn’t want to go home. It’s so much fun to watch their reactions to various things. A second chance to do those things we didnt do as parents.

    Found some of his pics of the Solar system - these are just a selection of those he hs drawn over teh last couple of months.
    The one at the bottom with the google eyes is copied from youtube.
    Not the top one with the ring around Uranus!
    SolarSystem1.jpg

  6. #21
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Murray Bridge S Aust.
    Age
    71
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    5,942

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    [QUOTE=bollie7;1993210] There is a selection Ringtail Possums who camp up in the roof of my shed pretty regularly. I always say hello whenever I go in as they know the sound of my voice and they don't get startled.
    We used to also have some Brushtails who also camped in the roof on occasion but some low life in the area shot all them all with a high powered slug gun a couple of years ago. We had 5 that were shot over a couple of months that came back to my shed to die.
    That was pretty devastating for both my wife and I.)

    That sort of thing certainly will not help with the depression, especially when you've grown attached to them.
    Kryn
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

  7. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Charlestown NSW
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    [QUOTE=KBs PensNmore;1993236]
    Quote Originally Posted by bollie7 View Post
    That sort of thing certainly will not help with the depression, especially when you've grown attached to them.
    Kryn
    You are right there Kryn

  8. #23
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    Willowbank QLD
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    517

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    I thought I would add the third part of my idea and add a few tips for those playing along at home. I will also finally get around to answering the original question.

    This is validating your life.

    Once you have decided what the 5 heading for your life are the final step is to look at your current way you live. If you are doing anything that does not contribute to you achieving the five headings it either means you don't have the headings right or you are not living how you want. When I say anything I mean anything. If we take something as simple as eating, you must do this to achieve the headings, therefore it is nessasry.

    If you are sure the heading are correct start cutting away the unnecessary. If the headings are not correct go back to step 2.

    If you have taken the challenge make sure you review your headings every 5 years or so. I am sure that what was important to me at 16 will be very different to me at 60.

    So if the original poster decides that his machinery does not fit his headings then the logical solution is to get rid of them. If the machinery does fit in his headings I am sure we can come up with some suggestions for each individual machine to meet his needs.

    The way this method allows anxiety to be reduced is be helping to understand what is important to us. For example if traffic and crowds cause you to be anxious and you have no reason to live in a large city it is probably time to make some changes. If you are working 60 hours a week to earn big money and you realise you don't need big money, you probably need to make some changes.

    I would like to finish with one last statement. "You should own you possessions and not have your possessions own you." I don't mean only in a financial sense but emotionally and physically as well. If you have something in your life that does not contribute to meeting your headings or bringing you joy, that possession owns you. On the other hand if you walk into your shed after a hard day at work to pay for whatever is in your shed, and you feel happy or blessed that you have those things in your life. You own your possessions.

    I am happy to take any PM's if someone has a question about my ideas. I have tried to keep this as short as practical.
    My final thought is if you are suffering anxiety or depression it is hard to solve on your own. Talk to people or get professional help.

    For me just coming to realise that anxiety it is not a weakness, it is a natural reaction to a perceived or actual situation and it is more common than I thought. I have spoken to some people that appeared to have it made but underneath they have been trying hard to hide from their feelings.

    I commend the original poster for putting this on the site. If this helps one person then it is the best thing that has happened here.

    Steve

  9. #24
    BobL is offline Member: Blue and white apron brigade
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reidy41 View Post
    . . . . I would like to finish with one last statement. "You should own you possessions and not have your possessions own you." I don't mean only in a financial sense but emotionally and physically as well. If you have something in your life that does not contribute to meeting your headings or bringing you joy, that possession owns you. On the other hand if you walk into your shed after a hard day at work to pay for whatever is in your shed, and you feel happy or blessed that you have those things in your life. You own your possessions.
    SWMBO has been employing this approach to help her declutter, and boy do we have some decluttering to do. So far we are at least not accumulating more than we chuck out, but I would like to see more chucking out. Half a day spent sorting clothes for half a green garage bag of checkouts is about the best she can manage.

  10. #25
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    Willowbank QLD
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    A couple of years ago I set myself a goal, that I only ended up keeping for about 6 months and not the year that I intended.

    I would find 1 item per day for the year to get rid of. That way it was not a big task to come up with one item. If I came across more than one I put it in the pile and got rid of it over the following days. I need to do it again.

    Steve

  11. #26
    BobL is offline Member: Blue and white apron brigade
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reidy41 View Post
    A couple of years ago I set myself a goal, that I only ended up keeping for about 6 months and not the year that I intended.

    I would find 1 item per day for the year to get rid of. That way it was not a big task to come up with one item. If I came across more than one I put it in the pile and got rid of it over the following days. I need to do it again.

    Steve
    My list is highly fluid. I have a list of ideas for projects in my head but whether it proceeds depends on what what I already have amongst my stash of bits and their repurposing to suit projects and my level of of interest. Then I'll see something on a verge and maybe a new idea pops into my head and the list morphs accordingly. I rarely am able to complete any of my projects in just a day, usually months is more like it. Often that is spent waiting for parts etc. SWMBO 2020 Xmas present took me about 5 months.

    A picture SWMBO asked me to frame in 2002 was finally completed last year.
    Had to wait to find the right framing materials - 100 year old fence pickets
    Vangogh.JPG

  12. #27
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    gold coast
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    Hi Peter, and everyone,
    At 78, I experience many of the issues you guys have shared here.
    I humbly applaud Steve for his sensible and well planned and well explained roadmap for change.
    I hope you will allow me to share a little of mine.

    I became aware 15 years ago that a was moving into a new stage of my life, mostly driven by health and finances.
    I am definitely not holding my life journey up as the be all and end all for anyone---we are all different people, but on reflection, I realise its depended on several steps

    (1) AWARENESS: I couldn't think creatively, or consider any changes, until I had an awareness of the "problem".
    So reading any self help books, or 'taking' any advice, was lost on me until I gained "Awareness"
    I have been reading everyones' comments that demonstrate a lot of awareness, in whats the problem(s) are.

    That's where I bogged down for a while.

    DISCOVERING CHOICES :Then for a while I struggled with, "do I really want change, and what would I LOOSE in my life with the change, what negative aspects held me back from any changes?"
    I actually needed to reach a personal conclusion on this before I could move on

    I struggled to a point where I asked myself, "what do I want", and when I had a list of those things/changes, I then asked, "What do I REALLY" want?
    Sure I read it somewhere, I'm not that clever! I was surprised with what I REALLY wanted.

    But for once I actually wrote a few lists, then as the "book" suggested, I asked my "inner self" to consider this, and put it on the "back burner"
    Out of the blue a few nights later, while waiting for my 2pm 'pee', I became aware of some 'ideas".
    I'm not a religious person, being an engineer, so I believe this was my 'creative self' communicating with me
    Yeah, hang in there, I haven't gone bonkers, I'm just using a metaphor.

    In becoming aware of what I "really want", I started to look for ways to "free myself" from any self beliefs, that were restraining my change.
    ONE OF THE BIGGEST WAS LOOSING MONEY IF I MADE CHANGE.
    What would happen to my machines, and the thousands of dollars of fly fishing equipment when I "fell off the perch"?

    The freedom came when in a flash of awareness,I realised, IT WOULDN'T MATTER, cos I wont be here to worry about it, and contrary to my desire to have good plans for everything, this one just wasn't one that should restrict me.
    If I moved house, I could leave it there, or have someone dump it, and if I died, its someone else's problem. (and believe me my wife would love to have a scrap merchant come in and dump it all into an industrial bin even though we love each other dearly)

    So I can leave it all in the garage, and use it occasionally, and not worry about it! What a relief!

    I cant fly fish like i used to.
    Standing in a rocking boat, or rock hopping up a mountain stream is impossible for me now. A bit of lake or estuary fishing is ok, but covid has stopped travel the last few years
    So applying the above formulae, has opened several small avenues, where I have been able to explore some things that I never had time for in my life, but would have liked to try.
    I wont bore everyone with my 'personal achievements', simply to say, I have lots to do.
    One last thing. I have a spot on my bench where I leave sketches, or items that I have wanted to make, or need attention. Whenever I cant get out because of lockdown, its now as if Im in my own personal heaven, with plenty of choice on something fun to do.
    Peter, I know this doesnt "fit" your life, and being, "on the tools" is the problem you now have an "awareness" of, (as well as others) so I understand, what works for me wont work for you.
    So the question is, "What do YOU want"?
    Once you have that , you can take the next step.( How do I get it?)

    warm regards Brian

  13. #28
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Charlestown NSW
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    Thanks to everyone who has replied to this so far.
    Keep going - every post is an interesting, thought provoking read.
    Just reading about others ways of dealing with various stressors etc has been great for me. I'm feeling a lot better now than I was when I wrote my original post
    For myself, I find that sometimes I get locked to one idea (that can be in my mind or how to achieve something etc) and I just cant see another option that might be blindingly obvious to someone else. (Cant see the bush for the trees?)
    As soon as someone else says "why not do this" etc. then I can start to see other options.

    My wife is great for seeing other options. Before we got together she had no experience with engineering type stuff, but she is very interested in stuff that I do in the shed. There have been plenty of occasions when I have been trying to work out how to do something and she has asked "can you do this". Not knowing that it cant be done that way for whatever reason, but her insight has allowed me to look at things a different way and end up achieving what I wanted.

    So please keep putting up your thoughts etc. Sounds like I might not be the only person who is benefiting from them.
    Thanks
    Peter

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