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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Murray Bridge S Aust.
    Age
    71
    Posts
    5,942

    Default How To Understand Engineers..........

    A few funnies relating to Engineering
    Understanding Engineers 1


    Two engineering students were riding bicycles across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get the great bike?"


    The second engineering student replied, "Well, I was walking yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
    The first engineering student nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."




    Understanding Engineers 2




    To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
    To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.




    Understanding Engineers 3




    A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
    The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
    The doctor chimed in, "I don't think I've ever seen such inept golf!"
    The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
    The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"
    The group fell silent for a moment.
    The priest said, "That's so sad. I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."
    The doctor said, "Good idea. I'll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here's anything she can do for them."
    The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"




    Understanding Engineers 4




    What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
    Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.




    Understanding Engineers 5




    The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with a Commerce degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?



    Understanding Engineers 6




    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it isn't sufficiently complex yet.




    And Finally




    Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing


    "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."


    The woman took a spanner from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "6.5 metres," and walked away.


    One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"


    Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and have been elected to Parliament.
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Bundoora, Victoria
    Posts
    20

    Default

    Hahaha. Very good.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    395

    Default

    My boss who was an engineer asked me to make 3 propellers for a wind turbine to test in our wind tunnel.
    Problem was after I’d made one to prove it he said he’d given me drawing for a helicopter blade so back to square one.
    He went back to Europe.
    PS Don’t ever ride in a high speed train over there.
    H.
    Jimcracks for the rich and/or wealthy. (aka GKB '88)

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