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Thread: Depression...

  1. #1
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    Default Depression...

    One of the things that has come out of my employment issues is depression. I'm not too bad at the moment but it comes and goes. Because of that I look for ways of dealing with it and found a short book the other day ('Taming the black dog' by Bev Aisbett, pub. Harper Collins) that in a humourous way, talks a bit about depression and what can be done about it.

    However, one of the more interesting bits in it is a few pages, telling those around you how they can best support you. I know others on the forum also have or have experienced depression, so if you do, it may be helpful for your support people to see those pages. To summarise, the 8 paragraphs are -
    1. Identify the problem
    2. Encourage communication
    3. Be compassionate
    4. Hold your place (ie don't 'rescue')
    5. Encourage self-help
    6. Keep things moving (encourage activity and involvement)
    7. Business as usual (don't be dragged in)
    8. Assess your part


    I was going to scan the pages but I'm not sure about copyright, so you may have to scour your local book shop or have a look on line if it is of interest. https://www.dymocks.com.au/book/tami...-9781460756966
    I hope this is of use to others.

    Michael

  2. #2
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    Does this problem manifest itself more because you cannot find the type of employment you particularly desire or are unable to find any type of employment?

  3. #3
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    I was not planning to get into my issues, just recommend the book, but ever since first being retrenched some 25 years ago (and too many times since), the trigger for me has been lack of certainty over income. Employment in my field is scarce but I seem to get more than my share of having that employment taken away on a whim by managers, usually because (reading between the lines) they see me as a potential threat to their status/situation.
    The most recent occurrence of this seemed to be that after a few months it became apparent to the manager that I was working for that I knew more about mechanical stuff than he did, was getting on better with people than he did and was independent enough in thought not to constantly defer to him.
    I can handle leaving a place on my own if it does not seem to suit. I can deal with an entire workplace closing down. I have a lot of trouble where I am deprived of a livelihood on a subjective basis purely for someone to enhance/ preserve their position.



    Michael

  4. #4
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    Unfortunately that occurs and is part of people's on insecurities.
    From my experience people in that position or prone to those types of insecurities have already secured upper management approval of their deficiencies,and unfortunately management don't see around corners.

  5. #5
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    Hi Guys,

    Not really a lot I can say. I've seen many times when I've been down to my last few pounds, but something always comes up ! The old saying about business, "its all fat or all famine", there is never an in between. Very easy to get depressed if you let it get to you. You have to be confident in your own abilities.
    Best Regards:
    Baron J.

  6. #6
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    Thanks for the recommendation Michael.

    From my perspective its probably almost more important for people who don't/aren't suffering from depression to have some understanding of it that the sufferer themselves - since those in a depressed state aren't the best at either recognising it or necessarily able to take action on their own.
    Unfortunately there are still a lot of people who DON'T understand that's the case and can't see why the sufferer can't just snap themselves out of it. A greater understanding is definitely better for all involved.

    Steve

  7. #7
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    Thanks for that Steve, you hit the nail on the head.
    I've been a sufferer since 2000, after a Car accident, it cost me my business, pride, dignity, just about my marriage too.
    The biggest thing is for people to get help, both medical and therapy, before it gets too bad.
    Unfortunately, we don't recognise that we have a problem, and it takes someone else, usually our better halves, to take steps for our wellbeing.
    Kryn
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

  8. #8
    BobL is online now Member: Blue and white apron brigade
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OxxAndBert View Post
    . . . .Unfortunately there are still a lot of people who DON'T understand that's the case and can't see why the sufferer can't just snap themselves out of it. A greater understanding is definitely better for all involved.
    This applies to any mental illness.

    A certain family member of ours was one of the the greatest proponent of "snap yourself out of it" I've ever met, and proclaimed and applied it with vigour to her family and friends suffering from any mental illness and was then aghast when they and their supporters eventually told her "where she could go with that". Her reaction was to forever bad mouth them thereafter. In her latter years she started suffering from depression and was totally befuddled when she could not "snap her self out of it" - fortunately for her and us not long after that she passed away.

  9. #9
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    I came down with an auto immune disease which robbed me of normal bodily functions and sees me in pain 24/7. I suffered from depression for a couple of years and thought daily of ending it because I could no longer do the things I wanted and knew the disease was only going to get worse. Eventually I accepted the new normal and put those thoughts to the side. I still suffer pain greatly and there is very little I can do. Luckily I'm a pretty self motivated type person and I got on with life, accepting my condition as the new normal.
    Wasn't that pleasant experiencing all those negative thoughts but luckily I lived through them. I'm under no false illusion though, I know one day those thoughts will return as the condition worsens and I will act on those negative thoughts. For now I'm happy and hope to stay that way for a long time, I have lots and lots of things to build. But, that's life I guess, some are lucky, some are not.

  10. #10
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    I believe that most of us,if not all, suffer from depression of varying degrees, in our lives.

    Remember you have friends here whom you can contact and chat with via PMs or just emails.

    Pets make a big difference too. I find it is hard to feel sorry for my self when my little yellow varmit cockatiel is crawling all over me and trying to pull keys from the keyboard.

    I don't know how it works but my fur and feather kids know , some how they do!

    My blue cattledog can tell if I am feeling down and comes over for a pat and cuddle. The blue dog chases away the black one.

    The message is make the effort to recognise that you can reach out.

    If you don,t have a fur or feather companion, there is also us on the forum.

    People are here for you. OK!

    As mod I am privy to this is problem more than you know.

    Grahame

  11. #11
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    I'm glad this subject is getting an airing, I find myself facing retirement in the next few months after 47 years with the same company in a high pressure 24x7 technical job and the prospect has me anxious, sleepless and somewhat down on the whole thing. At this stage I have no idea how I am going to handle it but handle it I must.

  12. #12
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    I'm still a few years away from retirement so no personal experience with that side, but can you put a finger on anything particular that's causing the anxiety? Personally I find that often anxiety is the trigger for a following down period so addressing that anxiety is the best proactive thing I can do.
    I'll throw a few things I can think of that I could see causing anxiety about retirement: financial, lack of personal contact, too much time with spouse, feeling of lack of personal worth now that nobody is paying you for doing something you're good at, general lack of routine.

    Steve

  13. #13
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    The lack of personal worth, is I find my biggest problem, plus too much time with the spouse, even though it's 3 days of the week, I volunteer and do part time work the other 4.
    Her surname is Goodenough, but I didn't find out till later, that her first name should have been NEVER!!!!!!!!!!
    Kryn
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gavin Newman View Post
    I'm glad this subject is getting an airing, I find myself facing retirement in the next few months after 47 years with the same company in a high pressure 24x7 technical job and the prospect has me anxious, sleepless and somewhat down on the whole thing. At this stage I have no idea how I am going to handle it but handle it I must.
    Hi Gavin,

    Retiring is the best thing that could have happened for me ! Suddenly all the pressures of the day to day work, just vanish. Suddenly your free ! Free to enjoy your hobbies, free to take a holiday when you want. You now have the time to do all those things that you never could find the time for.

    As an example, the weather was very nice yesterday, so the wife and I got in the car and went to the coast, had a really nice meal in a pub overlooking the sea, a drink, a pleasurable walk along the front, and best of all it was quiet, no crowds, no hustle and bustle because its out of season. If I was still working we couldn't have done that.

    So my advice is to look forward to retirement and enjoy it !
    Best Regards:
    Baron J.

  15. #15
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    Retirement is great, I retired 19 years ago aged 49. No idea how I ever found the time to go to work. Hobbies are the key. If you have hobbies, that's your new life, it's great.

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